Talking to yourself

I have a gift. A gift of listening. People from all walks of life, all nationalities, all ages, come up to me and share their most intimate issues. I maybe a complete stranger, whom they have never met before. But they still want to tell me what is happening in their lives, to relieve themselves of their worries and concerns. I consider this to be a gift. 


One of the many people I spoke to had once told me that she had a 5 year old son who would talk to himself. Or he would gaze at his hands and speak to them. She was completely flustered and ashamed to say this to me but spoke about it with great sadness. Her next question was, do you think he is crazy? 


If you are like the many few who instantly labels or judges, then you would say that there is something wrong with the child. But I don't think so! So what if he talks to himself? Why do we as parents panic for everything that we see? We are the worst enemies for our children sometimes by judging their every action. Our reaction to this action should be right. 

My answer was simple: with regard to his talking to himself, he is not crazy. He is talented and is saying things he has heard or found interesting to himself. He will talk rationally when he wants to. It is wrong to panic or get upset by this behaviour; it is normal for kids. You shouldn't observe him too much and make him conscious. Just let him be except when you are teaching him or at any sessions. You can join him when you see him doing that and ask him what he finds so amusing. Or just model what you perceive to be normal behaviour.

Sometimes, our negative feelings or concerns are felt by the children and they play up more. They are far more intelligent than you or me think they are! When we talk about it with curled eyebrows in a serious voice, they feel that something is wrong. Yes, we need to address the issue but not to the extent of overly worrying about it. 

I suggested to write about this concern in her book. Later she could research about it and write down the specific solutions that suit her son.  

This led to many other discussions, like Autism, PDD, ADHD, alternative medicine (that alleviate the symptoms or cure completely), behaviour related books, therapy, schools etc., which I will talk about separately in my other posts. I am not a doctor but I am sharing my views / ideas hoping it will bring some solace to parents like my stranger friend above.

Watch this space...